On Labor Day weekend I had a plan: a 3-day weekend with my new smart TV. But, as it frequently happens, things didn’t go as planned.
Here is the way I imagined it happening: move old TV out. Have someone come and haul it off the next day. Install new TV — it’s a smart TV, how hard can it be, right? Then, after all was installed and ready to go, I’d enjoy the magical world of my new smart TV.
Here is how it actually went: move and shove the old projection TV out of the house. It falls apart a bit and leaves a trail of plywood dust. But hey, I can handle this. Step two: Get new TV stand into the living room. Hey, this one was pretty drama free. Step three: hook up new TV. This step was a little harder. Unpack new TV. Wow, this thing was packaged well! And it was heavy. Good thing I had help. Step four: hook up new TV. Deep breath. This is where it truly went all wrong. Wires, so many wires. Where do these go? They go to what? Where? Why? Ok. Finally get all that figured out after camping out behind the TV hooking up wire after wire. “I don’t think this is really right, but here goes!” I told myself. Next it was time to plug in the TV. Finally the fruits of our labor! And enter the “you lost on the gameshow” sound here.
TV is on. TV has massive “cracks” in the picture. It was clearly punctured and shattered on the inside. This TV was brand new. Next up was a call to the retailer (who I will not name). The lady I talked to was less than pleasant and told me I had 15 days to return the TV. I was on day 14 at that point and even though it was brand new, could not be returned after day 15. So, after said lady hung up, the TV had to be re-packaged (I cut my toe on packing tape to add to the frustration) and TV was returned to the retailer. Manager of said retailer was really nice, says we actually have 45 days to return the TV (not 15). Sigh.
Finally, new TV gets home and hooked up. Turn it on and yay! It has a picture and this time it isn’t cracked. But… The smart TV is apparently smarter than I am. I forget the Wi-Fi password and the drama continues. Finally get it hooked up to the magical Internet and settle in to watch TV. Wait, why isn’t there any sound? Are you kidding me? Back to owner’s manual I went and turns out I didn’t have the right cable — another thing the store really, really could have educated me on.
So, it was back to the retailer another time. I was determined to get this TV up and working. While I was there I decided to pick up a Blu-ray player. I still had a DVD and VCR before this upgrade. I ask the cashier if I needed another cable for the Blu-ray player. He didn’t know. More frustration. So I finally resolve to pick up two HDMI cables — one for the satellite to TV and one for the Blu-ray to TV.
I return home triumphant, I was sure I finally had solved the problem! I hook up the TWO cables (instead of several) and turn the TV back on: no signal. At this point I about lost it. I went back to camping out on the floor trying to figure out what is wrong. How in the world can you mess up two cables? Only two? After another half hour of so of this I finally relented and called tech support, which, thankfully, it was open until 11 p.m. Turns out you have to tell the TV which HDMI port you want it to use. Sigh.
And I won’t even go into the sound bar situation the next day. I’m happy that is now working fine (though if you touch the wrong button it refuses to work until it gets over its attitude issue).
I am happy to report my wonderful co-worker, Jessie, helped me get hooked up with Netflix and I have since discovered “Orange is the New Black.” After the initial drama, I’m finding a smart TV is a whole new world that I never new existed. I proceeded to go on an 8-hour OITNB binge. The last time I binged on a show like that it was “LA Ink.”
So, the drama was worth it, but I’m sure anybody who has ever had to venture into the technology jungle can relate to this. And if you need help hooking up your new smart TV, hit me up. I can probably save you a lot of stress.
The Wandering Pigeon 