Why overdosing on Netflix is hazardous

I recently discovered the wonderful world of Netflix. I wrote about this in a previous post “Smart TV Drama.” The great thing about not having it all these years is I get to binge on multiple seasons at a time on my favorite shows. And I’m discoveringwpid-20150815_215557.jpg that watching an hour a more — per day — isn’t necessarily a good thing.

First, it’s making me fail at adulthood a bit. Novel? What novel? I’m not working on a novel while I still have season three of “Orange is the New Black” to finish! Laundry? Who needs clean clothes? Friends? What friends? My friends live in a show about prison. I must know what their day is like today!

Let’s not even talk about the fact that I’ve only been watching this show since Labor Day.

But, besides failing at adulthood, there are other side effects of immersing yourself so much in one show. I’m starting to realize why they only release one show every week in normal-running seasons.

Here’s what else happens when you watch nearly three seasons of one show since Labor Day:

  • You start to see the characters wherever you go — or at least everyone reminds you of certain characters. I recently went to a restaurant and I was reminded of several scenes in the prison kitchen. It led me giggling through dinner and having to explain myself to my dinner mates.
  • You laugh during random conversations because the person you’re talking to said something or sat a certain way and reminded you of a really funny character. Seriously this happened to me last week. I was in an interview with someone and they sat a certain way and my mind flashed to a scene in the show. I felt the corners of my mouth erupt into a smile and laughter bubble up. That one was hard to explain. Way to go, Brandy.
  • You talk about the characters like you know them — like you live in the show with them. You discuss their lives in great detail with other show junkies. You reach out to other people who watch the show and gossip about today’s “prison news.” This is a real thing, truly. I seek out other people who watch the show and discuss the injustices of the show. Sigh. Perhaps I’m losing touch with reality?
  • You make references to characters at work only to be met with confusing looks from co-workers who question your sanity. Sometimes, perhaps, it’s a good thing they don’t know which character I just told them they remind me of.
  • You start to think “hey, maybe prison isn’t that bad.” Then you realize you’ve really started to lose touch with reality. You then promise to limit your time watching the show. You then go home and watch another two hours because you want to know what Piper, a character in the show, is up to today. You realize you failed at this goal. Again.
  • You count the number of hours before you’re off work so you can settle in and check in with the show. Then you make a list of what you have to do when you get home and calculate how much time you have to watch the show. Lots of things can be done in front of the television, right?
  • You go home, only to realize the Internet is down, and you’re suddenly in a life crisis. Because Netflix is now your stress relief, your entertainment and did I mention your friends live in there because you’ve not been out since Labor Day? You text your Internet provider, and other people who also use the same company. You find out they’re also in Netflix withdraw. You realize you’re not alone and consider starting a support group. But it will cut into Netflix time, so you forget that idea.
  • You start to get sad when you only have five shows left in season three. As I write this, this is where I’m at in the show. And, a quick Google search informed me I have to wait nearly a year for season four. What am I going to do without knowing what they are up to each day? Perhaps maybe thrive at adulthood again? Or maybe I’ll act like a normal person and socialize. Or maybe I’ll catch up on “Dexter.” Yes, I’ll catch up on “Dexter.”
  • Lastly, you realize you’ve written nearly 800 words on this topic. Perhaps I need an intervention.
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