Puppy Poopgate 2020

It was a beautiful summer day, the kind where you want to get out of the house and enjoy some sunshine. As new puppy parents in the middle of the 2020 pandemic, our version of getting out was to drive country roads, away from everyone. It’s also one of our favorite things to do.

The puppies were fed and pooped so we put them into their playpen, which, at the time at their size was a roomy suite that kept them safe and also kept the house safe. We told the pups we’d be back soon and headed out the door to enjoy some country (and COVID-free) roads.

It was a lovely night, with a beautiful Kansas sunset. We picked up some food from a drive-thru window (we weren’t comfortable eating indoors yet) and headed home. Little did we know the shitty (pun intended) situation we were about to walk into.

We got into the house, put the food on the counter, and before we even heard the puppy squeals, we smelled it. The unmistakable smell of puppy poop. Lots of it.

“Please tell me they didn’t roll in it!” I exclaimed as we headed over the playpen to get the puppies out. The horror began to unfold. I pulled one puppy out, Cleo, her color had transformed into something hideous. She was a creamy color peppered with, you guessed it, poop. It was in her paws, her hair, and all over her body. When Punk emerged, his color profile was more of the same.

Let’s pause a minute to consider the horror we faced that evening — our delicious food was abandoned. Our house smelled like poop. Our puppies played in that horrible-smelling, vile stuff.

The puppies immediately were transferred to the tub, where they had to undergo an entire bath. Which posed another challenge: they are largely hairless. The poop had dried on their skin. By the time they were clean, we were both covered in poop. Their blankets were covered in poop. I am sure I even had poop in my hair.

But the horror wasn’t over. The playpen, which was made of a vinyl-type material with mesh windows, was completely covered. The poop embedded into the mesh. That took a whole new level of scrubbing. And I thought getting the poop off the puppies was bad. Their playpen was next-level hell, and the chocolate-colored icing that frosted a really shitty cake.

We did eventually eat that (very cold) food. And everybody did eventually recovered from Poopgate 2020.

The joys of puppy-hood. At least I can laugh about it now.

Have a lovely Monday, friends.

~ The Wandering Pigeon