Tonight I came to a realization in regard to expecting gratitude of others. The situation that led me to this realization isn’t important, but I feel it’s important to write about this topic.
I was bumbling around my house tonight feeling disgruntled about something. I realized (with some degree of disappointment in myself) that I was expecting gratitude out of a situation. Gratitude is central in my life — it changed my life. But, I have no right to expect gratitude. With that said, most of us like to be appreciated, but for me, it was coming down to my ego — my ego was expecting gratitude out of something. One of my favorite books by Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, states this “personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about ‘me.'” By expecting gratitute out of a situation, I was doing just that — making it all about ME.
By expecting gratitute out of a situation, I was not only taking said situation personally, I was stepping out of my sense of gratitude. Should people be grateful? Well, that’s for them to decide. MY personal belief system says I should say thank-you, send hand-written notes thanking people and spending time in gratitude each day. Should other people do that? Again, it’s for them to decide. I have no right to expect gratitude out of situations and people.
As soon as I made this realization tonight, realizing that it is not about ME, I was able to step back into gratitute. I control how I feel and react to things. And I never get to expect gratitude. We’re all living in our own reality and looking through our own lenses.
With all that said, I am grateful for each and every person who reads this.
This is interesting, I’ve never thought about it like this but I expect gratitude for things I’ve done often and get disappointed if I don’t get it. But that’s not the point of doing nice things. Thank you this has changed my perspective
Thank you for the comment! It found last night that releasing the situation was so freeing. And expecting gratitude only leads to disappointment.
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