As I was staring in the mirror the other day at work — those lights are so unkind in the bathroom — I saw I’m getting more and more grey hairs. I plucked one out of spite and then kept seeing more. I can’t pluck my entire collection of grey hairs out so I just walked away.
Then later, I actually used the words “She’s a young pup…” for the first time in my life. How can I be old enough to refer to another adult as a “young pup?”
How does this stuff happen?
Then Friday was my 20th-year high school reunion. 20. As we all gathered around the table, we all realized the last time we saw each other as a group was when we were around 17 and 18. Now, we’re looking at 40. Then we realized if we wait another 20 years, we’ll all be almost 60. There’s a LOT of living to be done in the next 20 years. Already, we’ve lost a few class members and a teacher to death. In another 20? I don’t want to think about it.
I look back at the last 20 years since I’ve been out of high school and there are so many wonderful moments as well as painful moments. But looking back I wouldn’t trade ANY of them.
I rolled in from my high school reunion around 2 a.m. the next morning — and was useless that day after only a few hours of sleep. Reminding me I’m in fact, not 17 anymore. This person needs adequate sleep now!
Sometimes, I utter the words “i’m getting older” and it is met with these words “oh you’re not old…just wait until you’re xyxy age.” My retort: You were once my age. You once had these SAME revelations. And I know I’ll likely say the same thing to someone some day — though I do hope I remember how invalidating that statement really is. Yes, dude, it’s invalidating. Because once you were allowed to feel just as I am now about your age. (So psst…I deserve to feel it too).
With that said, the past 20 years have FLOWN. Just flown. And it’s a bit scary to me to think 20 years in advance … things in my life will be vastly different. Many people in my life now will no longer be here. And it’s a harsh reminder to show up to life. Live it for TODAY. Not for next week. Not for Friday. Not for next year. Because next year turns into 20 before you know it.
Long, rambling post…but when your’e almost 40 your mind wanders. LOL
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