As the title of this blog post indicates, I’m pushing through a migraine today, but with gratitude. Let me explain.
I’m a wildly driven person – full-time employee in my dream job (truly), and a graduate student who thought she was super woman and took a full-time course load over the summer. No, this isn’t a unique situation, lots of people work full time and take classes, but it does take its toll if you don’t massage in some down time.
Last week was a crazy one – lots of things out of my norm from a two-day university shut down due to a water emergency in the city to being sick Friday evening and again today with a migraine. Not to mention the epic heat wave we had the past several days.
But, I’m grateful. For a variety of reasons. First, the migraine wasn’t one of my “epic” scary migraines. It was a migraine, but a “typical” one for me. Second, the migraine bought me a few hours of full-stop. As in full-stop in my bed with the fan full-blast. There’s a little bit of bliss in that when you’re constantly running and/or doing something. I’m grateful for the rest I got.
As I sit down to complete some homework with a refreshed mind, (albeit with a little bit of a migraine hangover still), I’m grateful for this opportunity I’m being given to learn and create.
Tonight I came to a realization in regard to expecting gratitude of others. The situation that led me to this realization isn’t important, but I feel it’s important to write about this topic.
I was bumbling around my house tonight feeling disgruntled about something. I realized (with some degree of disappointment in myself) that I was expecting gratitude out of a situation. Gratitude is central in my life — it changed my life. But, I have no right to expect gratitude. With that said, most of us like to be appreciated, but for me, it was coming down to my ego — my ego was expecting gratitude out of something. One of my favorite books by Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, states this “personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about ‘me.'” By expecting gratitute out of a situation, I was doing just that — making it all about ME.
By expecting gratitute out of a situation, I was not only taking said situation personally, I was stepping out of my sense of gratitude. Should people be grateful? Well, that’s for them to decide. MY personal belief system says I should say thank-you, send hand-written notes thanking people and spending time in gratitude each day. Should other people do that? Again, it’s for them to decide. I have no right to expect gratitude out of situations and people.
As soon as I made this realization tonight, realizing that it is not about ME, I was able to step back into gratitute. I control how I feel and react to things. And I never get to expect gratitude. We’re all living in our own reality and looking through our own lenses.
With all that said, I am grateful for each and every person who reads this.
Today, on my birthday, as the emails, Facebook posts, calls and texts roll in, I am reminded that I have so much to be grateful for — the people in my life are incredible, amazing warriors of people. I am truly blessed.
As I reflect on this last year and reflect on my goals for the upcoming year of my life, I am filled with joy and hope. The goals I have for the next year in my life are few, but major and I’m so excited to finally realize a dream I’ve always had. My apologies for being largely absent on this blog. I’m busy making my dreams come true right now. 🙂
So stay tuned!
And stay grateful! Gratitude changed my life..I promise it’ll change yours too. (But that’s another blog post).